Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Beautiful Service

Dad's service was a beautiful tribute to his life.

The Trinity Episcopal Church in Moorestown, NJ where it was held is just beautiful. We sang 2 hymns; Joy to Thee and On Eagle's Wings. The soloist performed Ave Maria, effortlessly and beautifully in Latin. Dad would have been pleased.

There were several readers

Lauri Porreca (Michael's wife) read the New Testament reading
Bobby Reasso (Michelle's son) read the Old Testament reading
Bob Reasso (Michelle's husband) read the Gospel reading

Also, several people spoke about dad's life

Michael Porreca (Dad's son) with help from Christian (his son)
Danielle Reasso and Carly Porreca (granddaughters)
Linda Nichi (Family Friend)
Charlie Porreca (Dad's brother)
Andrew Porreca (Dad's son) with help from fiance Amy Miller
Michelle Porreca Reasso (Me- Dad's daughter) with help from husband Bob Reasso

Their speeches are below in order of reading - enjoy - it really was a beautiful tribute and thanks to so many of you who were there or were there in spirit. Lots of love was flying around amongst all the tears. :)

Michael's with Christian
Thank you for coming and supporting us.

I am my father’s first son, and this is my son Christian. He’s the first son, of the first son, of the first son of the first son. It is a meaningful bond – one we will share forever.

Today is a tough day and a rough time. We will get through this. We’re strong and supportive – my father saw to that.

Today my message is one of joy – smile, be happy and laugh when you recall your favorite memories of my father.

So who is my father?

He was so many things to so many people. Whether you called him Al, or Grandpop or Dad, or Sonny, or Uncle Al, or Big Brother or Mr. Porreca or Fortunato, or My Darling. There’s even a rumor that they called him Sanctus Albertus Magnus in his ancestral roots of Torricella Peligna – Saint Albert the Great.

But if you spent any time with him at all you most certainly called him your friend.

Was he part of your favorite foursome? I’m sure there are more than a few groups out there looking for a fourth 
Was he part of your favorite card game?
You may have been able to get some of his money on the golf course but I’d be willing to bet he took it back off you at a good game of Texas Hold-em.

My Dad loved hanging out with his friends and being one of the boys. He loved his Cigna buddies and all the good friends he came to know at his second career at WillowBrook. That’s part of who my Dad is.

Did he show you magic tricks like the disappearing penny? He’s been pulling that one off for over 45 years. Did he have you throw invisible rocks into a paperbag and tell you witty and sometimes silly jokes and make you laugh a lot?

My Dad was funny and fun – loved kids and they loved him. He was a great Grandfather. That’s part of who my Dad is.

Did he come to your dance recitals and to your games and sit quietly in the stands and admire your effort? Whether they were up the NJ turnpike or started after 11:00 pm. It was never about winning – it was about trying.

My Dad was supportive and consistent and knowing he was there always made things just right. He was a great father. That’s part of who my Dad is.

Here’s a scary one: Did you ever have to show him your homework? I know that doesn’t translate for many here. But if you did, be sure to bring an eraser.

My Dad was thorough and orderly and paid attention to the right details. That is part of who my Dad is.

Did he help steer your career, find you a job, hire you or give you advice to put things in the right perspective? When you were well into your career and lost your job (it happens) - did he threaten to go in and have a talk with your boss?

He was fatherly, career minded and a great big brother. That’s part of who my father is.

But of all the things he is, the one thing he loved the most was being a husband to my mom Lee.


I said it earlier – today hurts.
But talk to Andy – he’s the eternal optimist – he IS my Dad
Talk to Jeffrey – he’s quick witted, funny and serious - he IS my Dad
Talk to Michelle – she’s clever, and thoughtful, and has a great way about her that helps keep people connected – she IS my Dad
Talk to my wife Lauri, she’s beautiful, or my brother Bob or my sister Amy – he WAS their Dad.

Talk to my Mom – she is NOT my Dad – she is the Heart and Soul of my Dad

On a lighter note – I did learn a few things about my Father as we prepared the last few days. I went through his personal belongings at home. Your sock drawer can really tell a lot about a person. He loved watches – if you ever gave him one – he still has it. He loved eye glasses too. And if you ever gave him a nail clipper, well – first that’s a little weird – but if you did, he still has those too.

There are so many more thoughts and memories I could share. He will be missed by so many.

So please today share a smile and a story about my father – be happy for what we have. He wants it that way.



Danielle's with Carly

I am Danielle and this is Carly. We are proud granddaughters and we wanted to read a poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson that we think sums up our grandfather's life. Love you, Grandpop.

To Have Succeeded

To laugh often and love much:
To win respect of intelligent people
And the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest critics
And endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give one's self;
To leave the world a little better,
Whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch,
Or redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm
And sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier
Because you have lived...
This is to have succeeded.

Linda's

Era la metà di gennaio, ma la settimana che Albert fu in Abruzzo pioggia e neve cessarono di cadere per lui, ed avemmo belle giornate di sole e temperature miti.
It was the depth of January, but the week Albert was in Abruzzo the rain and snow stopped for him, and there was a beautiful sun and warm temperatures. The day after his flight back home, all the hell of winter came down from the sky, freezing temperatures, high snow, icy roads. For this and for other strange circumstances I nicknamed him Fortunato - Lucky Albert. When he was in his Torricella for the first time, he met a clerk at the comune who had lived in Canada for long years - who like everyone Al met became a lifelong friend - and that night he phoned to me from Marziale's house - needless to say Al was received like an old friend at their table. Marziale was instrumental some years later, after much research, to find his living aunt, the wife of Albert's grandfather's youngest brother, who had died young in the 1936 war, and relatives in Pescara.
During that visit back in January 1999 he came to see me and was a welcome guest at my table, with my husband preparing his special carbonara in his honor. All the time he took notes in a kind of shorthand on a little notebook "so as not to forget all the special moments". And it is the special moments I was fortunate to share with Albert that I have written down in my memory. The next morning I took him on a visit to the Museum in L'Aquila, and we met a teacher and class of my school visiting too. Of course he made friends with them all - with that special graciousness that only true royalty in ancient Europe had, as a knight of the round table pure at heart - and showed a great fondness for a girl with the Down syndrome telling me aside "they die so young - I have a feeling for her parents in my heart". There was so much room in his heart, for everyone.


Uncle Charlies's

I’d like to tell you a couple of very short stories about my brother; things he either did or said that touched my life, so you can all know even more than you already know about him, and what kind of person he was, and then how I believe we should remember him.
When we were little kids, Al was my teacher. He loved to teach, and I’m sure many of you know that. With me, Al never missed an opportunity to let me know if I was on the right track or not. Like when we shared a bed in those early years before there was enough money for separate beds. I was like 6 or 7 and Al was around 9 or 10. He made sure he taught me exactly where my half of the bed ended and his began. And if I didn’t learn fast enough, his fist would come down and show me the line, very clearly. Yeah, he was also a very effective teacher. Doesn’t this sound like him?

Later on, when we were about high school age, in the summers we would sometimes ride the Frankford elevated train for fun. We would get on the first train, go up to the very front of the car and open the half door, and let the 45 mph wind blow into our faces. One day, for some reason, Al decided to spit down onto the track, which was speeding by. So he spit – yep, right into the wind, and the swirling wind stream caused it to fly back at us and then past us, and wow, it landed on the lap of this lady’s bright yellow dress, and she let out a shriek. Well, before I could even fully comprehend what had happened, in the blink of an eye, Al looked at me and said, “Yo Chal, why’d you do that?”. Well, I was so frozen, so much in shock that I couldn’t’ even speak, and Al was already on his way over to the woman with his handkerchief out. Can you believe it? So again, Al was teaching me - he was teaching me how fast I had to think in order not to get caught in a bad situation. Again, doesn’t this sound like him?


Of course these were just a couple of the many, many, many funny things that happened in our childhood, but there was so much more to Al - he had so many dimensions.
In later years, we both wound up in the same Delran neighborhood. In fact, all three brothers – Al, Bill, myself - wound up within a couple of blocks of one another, where we raised our kids, all of whom remain close to this day. Even our parents, in their late years, moved closeby,
We did the usual family picnics and parties while the kids were growing up, and helped our parents with their later years.
And finally, when we were both retired and had become grandfathers, Al really got me started in golf. He was working and playing at Willow brook, and he was always eager to play at a moment’s notice. We played, and of course he showed me how to swing the club, which club to use in given situations, and how to conduct myself on the course. Well, not everything he taught me got through.
Well you know, we’ve all heard samples of Al’s one-liners. And over the coming days and weeks, many more will come into my consciousness, I’m sure, but one for now: It was last year, and my two brothers and their wives were over our house while my friends Bob and his wife Mary, from Kentucky, were visiting. Bob and Mary are both from the extreme rural areas of that state and both have very deep southern drawls. Well, at some point Mary said something to Bill that started with “Hey Be-ill”. And without missing a beat, Al said, “geez Bill, I didn’t know your name had 2 syllables”. Hey, does that sound like him?
So anyway, when you think of Al, please don’t think of him with sickness, think of him with these quick one-liners. Yeah, think of a time where he made you smile…….. or he made you proud. As a very wise person once said, “If you keep them in your heart, they will always be there”.



Andrew's with Amy


I would like to start by apologizing to all the people in this world, who never met my Dad.
He always believed in us, and in people in general, and that gave us a reason to believe in ourselves and each other.
He took pride, joy, and excitement in helping others and he did so in many ways
-By connecting people to their ancestry
-By giving those around him an appreciation and desire for knowledge
-And sometimes just a big warm hug
He taught us to seek that knowledge and to question and understand not to just blindly accept things as they were.
He taught us all that there was always another side to the story. He often played devils advocate that way, even though sometimes you didn’t want to look at things from a different perspective. He used that as a tool to help us understand and yet again, gain more knowledge and truly have that appreciation for everyone and everything.
Growing up I have wonderful memories of watching baseball games with my Dad, which probably explains my passion for it today. He made it into a game. He had a knack for that…teaching us Life’s Biggest Lessons in the form of a game, which is how we learned.
I have been lucky enough to return the favor in a small way. For the past few years for Father’s Day we’d pick a Phillies Game to go to together, just Dad and me. He’d let me buy the ticket and a hot dog for him and we would sit and enjoy the game and I knew he knew how important that was to me, because it was just as meaningful to him. I am so grateful for those memories and for so much more…
As hard as it is to believe we’ve been very fortunate these last five months to get to see my Dad every day. To tell him how much we loved him and just how much he meant to us all. No matter how tough his day was in that hospital, he made it easier on us with his big warm smile and amazingly his very quick wit still, which he never lost.
He told me in these last months on many occasions how amazed he was with his family and friends and especially my Mom, who was there every day…you all were, through your visits, calls, blog entries, and really just your thoughts and prayers.
He was very proud to see that all of the Life Lessons he taught us were well received and are put into daily use by all of us.
Each day when I left the hospital, we had a special good-bye. I would give him a kiss, tell him how much I loved him and we would bump fists and explode, which in return always got me a great smile from him. For that memory I will be forever grateful.

-I love you Pop!
-None of it was wasted
-Mwah! (Blow a kiss)
-Kaboom! (Fist Love)


Michelle's with Bob


I’m Michelle and this is my husband, Bob and he is proud to be known as Bob’s fourth son. My dad always treated my husband as his fourth son and I was very grateful for the bond they shared.

I am very proud to be known as Al’s daughter.
But like my dad, I go by several names – some more appropriate for today than others - Today I’d like to think of myself as “Fortunato” – which means lucky in italian and as you heard it was the nickname that was given to my dad on his first trip to Torricella Peligna.

I am Fortunato to have had him for a father and a teacher.
He taught me so many things -
But he taught me one very important thing that he must have known I would need to get through today and that is to look for the good in every situation.

He taught me how to look for the good, when it was hardest to find.
And in his honor today I choose to look for the good.

My dad taught us everything by example. My dad saw the good in everyone – and I know that’s one of the many reasons people loved him so much. Everyone of you was always welcome at our table and he made sure you all knew you were special to him. So today I will let you all borrow my nickname - today we are all Fortunati to have known my dad.

My dad also shared another great gift with us. The gift of a good sense of humor.
Just recently he gave us this quote -

"It is important to find the humor in every situation. Every tragedy has humor in it and it reduces the trauma of the tragedy."

The gift of finding humor in every tragedy came in very handy in the last 5 months. We cried a lot but we also laughed a lot and he knew that and was proud of us for learning it so well, sometimes too well. .
We were all willing to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of a good joke.
Some of us sacrificed more than others and you should all - all be very afraid of what I decide to use the next time I want to try and make you smile.

I am also Fortunato because app 55 years ago my dad was in the right place at the right time. Apparently my mom was out shoppin and shoppin and she picked my dad.

And today I commend her for that – not just because she told me too – but really mom I commend you for picking the best dad, the best grandpop and the best father-in-law. We are all Fortunato.

And I commend him for picking you. You were his best friend, his biggest fan and forever his bride. Apparently, he ran out on quite a few card games just so he could get home to her. And he tried really hard to get home to her this time, too. He only fought for as long as he did for my mom. He loved her very much and he loved her very well for many years - and for that mom – you know you are Fortunato, too, just as he was. And like dad, you are strong and kind and optimistic and very funny and surrounded by people who love you and will help you celebrate his life and move you forward.

How could I possibly speak about my dad without acknowledging “his boys”. I know all of you ladies are totally jealous that I got to grow up with these 3 handsome guys! If you didn’t have a crush on my dad - you most likely werein love with one or more of my brothers. I have to tell you to keep your hands off Mike and Andy they are well-spoken for but feel free to be “hands on” with Jeff – just trying to help a brother in his time of need!

I am not one of the boys- but they never make me feel like that – they even let me golf with them – probably because my dad told them they had to. And for that I am also very Fortunato because they are in my favorite foursome.

Not only do they look just like my dad – more importantly they inherited all of his wonderful traits. Strong, funny, optimistic and most importantly I think, they are all very kind.

Michael spoke about the other boys so I think they won’t mind if I just speak about him for a minute.

He is our captain now.
And we are in good hands. I believe that when God gives you something difficult to handle he gives you the tools and the dignity to deal with it. God and Dad gave us Michael. You have big moccasins to fill – but you have proven time and time again that are up to the task.

I bestow on you the title that Dad would want you to have - Sanctus Michaelmas Magusus! We are going to enjoy calling you that!

My dad was so very proud of him and all of us. And we are fortunato that we knew that – always. So many people that came through the line last night that were friends of my dad and said “of course, we know you - your dad talked about you all the time”. We knew we were special and for that we are fortunato.

I could talk to you all day about my dad and my family and I’m sure I will do just that. I hope you do too. Talk to one another and to us and about what he meant to you and tell your funniest Al Porreca story. Bobby Cuva better be telling the story of my dad’s car accident last year. That is one my favorite stories. In my mind my dad was ALWAYS right – except that time.
But it’s a funny story and my dad would absolutely not mind sacrificing himself so we could get a laugh.

So let’s do what Sanctus Michaelmas told us to do and be happy today. Celebrate the fact that you knew him and that he believed you were special, too. Try to laugh more than you cry and remember we are all Fortunato!

My last words have to be my dad’s…

I miss you all.

Ciao a Tutti!

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