If you can't say anything nice...

don't say anything at all. Which is why I didn't write earlier today. I also thought I'd let you enjoy my dad's note for awhile. :)

I told you before that the blog helps me to focus on the positive (or maybe I just told Maureen, but now you know too). I know sometimes my entries send a bit of a false impression of the day to day reality. But, I write it because you read it and I know you want to hear good news because you love my dad as much as we do. We can't really do much besides keep each other "up" while he does all the hard work. My family, my brothers and their wives, my mom, my aunts, uncles, cousins, his friends all over the world - all of you who are worried and really can't do much to change the situation for him - we need to hear all the good news we can because the bad news finds us anyway. I think we've all done a really good job of helping one another keep our faith and our sense of humor because when we lose that we're done. I know you have all helped me tremendously and I am very, very grateful and so is my dad. He wanted to write something really profound yesterday - after all he's been through, the fact that he wrote at all was profound enough for us, yes?! And he does miss you all a great deal.

Well, I lost it last night and I didn't know what I'd possibly be able to say today that didn't bring you down. And then I thought, "you know what, tough, get a tissue". Go - get a tissue - and cry loudly into it cause this is damn sad!

The reality is, it's very difficult to see my dad unable to eat or drink or move more than his hands. It's awful for him. And for my mom. And it's very sad for her and all of us including my brothers and his brothers to have to leave him there every day. He's the best and he really does his best to help US stay upbeat. Can you imagine? How would YOU deal with it? Makes you wonder. I know I would not be nearly as good as he is. Anyway, we just want him to come home and have a life. A real life. I was starting to think that maybe it wasn't possible (even Andy couldn't convince me - and he's good!) But, then.............. :)

this morning instead of writing a blog I sent an email to my "pancreatitis support group". Which I laugh about, but, seriously, there is a yahoo group for EVERYTHING and I LOVE them. 5 minutes ago I got an email from my new best friend, Karen, whose husband went through pretty much what my dad went through. Severe Necrotizing Pancreatitis - very sudden gallstone attack, ICU, blah, blah, ventilator, ICU, rehab, blah, blah, ICU, rehab, surgery, blah, blah, feeding tube, blah, infection, blah, blah, surgery, blah, blah (get it? - long time) You know where he is tonight - a boy scout meeting! You know what he's doing after that? Yada-yada! Hang in there, mom! He'll be back!

So, dry your eyes, like I will, and get back to praying for some serious healing for him while we all keep the faith, our sense of humor and a sense of gratitude for all we have, for as long as it lasts. Cent Anni!

We've got a birthday to celebrate - not to mention a wedding or two!!

Love, Michelle